Hucow Auction Etiquette

We want to make sure every man is confident about their purchase, so we have daily exhibitions of our products. Every lobby of every building on the Horny Hucow Farm and Facility campus has a hucow on display, and farmers on hand to help you with any questions.

When looking into purchasing a new hucow, you are welcome to take any hucow for a test drive.

We want to make the buying process welcoming and easy, so we ask that you follow these rules:

1. Please ask the farmer before touching any hucow. You do not know the hucow’s demeanor, and they can be easily scared and act aggressively towards people they don’t know.
2. When you are presented with the hucow, you must always do a visual inspection to note any defects before test-driving.
3. Please limit your inspections to 3 fingers in the cunt and 2 fingers in the asshole to prevent any wear and tear.
4. Please do not ejaculate inside the hucow’s pussy, breeding should be done by the official owner. If you inseminate a hucow you do not own, you must purchase the heifer from the owner for double the market price.
5. Please return the hucow in the same or better condition.

The rules at auction can be a little different, because of the amount of men that may be interested in one hucow. Generally, at auction, the hucow is brought to the stage at the center of the room. The hucow is walked around the stage, allowing the men to get a closer inspection and put their hands on the merchandise.

Here are the rules at auction:

1. No crowding the stage. Once you have made a visual and physical inspection, you must move away from the stage.
2. You may insert your fingers in the mouth, cunt, and asshole, but please refrain from fingering the ears or nose and do not touch the hucow’s eyes.
3. When you want to bid on the hucow, you must yell your price and raise your paddle. If you do not do both of these, your bid will not be counted.
4. Bidders that behave violently will be escorted out and will lose their ability to bid during that round.
5. Winners must be able to pay cash, no payment plans are available at auction.

If everyone follows these rules, purchasing a hucow can be fun and easy!